Ian Hughes says marketers can spend too much time trying to be clever and end up looking stupid. Occasionally, they should try it the other way round.

Did you attend the USA DMA’s conference in San Diego, California, last month? 

This year, the DMA employed a new system for taking feedback from conference sessions: all the feedback could be given online. This amazing development means that a lot of hassle and time is taken out of the process for all involved and costs can be reduced.

For the entire duration of the show, I received an email every night inviting me to go online and fill in the evaluation form for the sessions I attended. In essence; laudable. Except for one small problem. I only bought an exhibit hall pass and, as a result, I was not permitted to attend any sessions. In essence; dumb.

The DMA isn’t alone in doing this kind of stuff, there are many dumb things that have gone on within direct marketing. 

A correspondent forwarded the story to me of how a life insurance company approached him to purchase life insurance, which was turned down three months earlier. Now that’s dumb.

And then there is the email I received recently, offering me a telemarketing service where they would call prospective customers and warm them up to get appointments. Have you spotted what’s dumb about that? They sent me an email to sell a telemarketing sales process. Surely, if you were good at telemarketing sales, you would have called me?      

And finally, there was the Mini car dealer who, after taking it on a test drive on Saturday said: “Can I call you on Monday to follow up?” I replied: “Monday isn’t good for me because I am in meetings all day.” The dealer said: “Well, it’s a rule that we call customers two days after the test drive, so just let my call go to voicemail.”
If it’s a rule, why ask me if it’s OK? And why have a rule that’s a sales inhibitor?

This sort of dumb direct stuff indicates that business is still failing to learn the first and most basic rule of marketing. ‘Look at yourself through the eyes of your customer.’

Crime and magic
As I walked around the DMA’s exhibition in San Diego, it became clear to me that very, very, very few of the booth holders had actually been smart enough to think about their visitor. All the usual crimes were committed:

• Too much copy on the stand (you’ve got three seconds not three years of my time)
• Copy that was in yellow on a white background (marketing manager should be taken out and shot for that one)
• And the greatest crime of all, failing to differentiate (this year EVERYONE did social networks, yawn!)

Folks, we can do better than this! Let’s not be so dumb.

Flash of inspiration
When I used to be a computer programmer, we had the concept of a Cardboard Cut-Out Analyst. It went something like this: When you had an issue you would call over an analyst and explain what the problem was to them. Nine times out of ten, the analyst didn’t actually have to say anything, you got it in the explanation.

On some occasions, the analyst would come up with a blinding flash of inspiration, like:  “So, we are selling a telemarketing service, but we aren’t going to use telemarketing to sell it. Why’s that then?”
The analyst didn’t actually have to be very smart, but just needed to ask the obvious questions.

Perhaps as marketers we spend so much time trying to be clever, we forget to be dumb.  We have so much to say we forget that it’s not about us, it’s about them.

One of the best things at the San Diego show was Axiom’s use of a magician on their stand. He’s great and always entertains and amazes. He gets a crowd and draws them in.

Unfortunately, this year, the marketing team clearly wanted to get value for money, so they gave the magician three things to plug. Which is good in terms of increasing the bang for their buck. But bad when it comes to the performance and recall.  Basically, the magician has a slot at the end of his show for ‘insert client plug here’. This plug went on for five minutes. By which stage we were losing the will to live. As was he, because he had to keep notes on the back of the flyers he was showing.

As you are a reader of this column, I now bestow upon you entry to The Ancient Order of Dumbness.
Those of us in this order start and end with the customer, we keep it simple and we make it all about them.  
Now you are a member, you have a duty to your Brothers and Sisters to play stupid.

Get out there and make it happen.