. . . or one of the winners? Herschell Gordon Lewis shows why the successful copywriter examines every word.

I was putting my too-heavy laptop computer back into its bag.

This session at the USA Direct Marketing Association’s annual conference (October, San Diego) had been reasonably successful, judging by attendance and participation. But apparently I hadn’t made one point as dynamically as I might have.

An attractive attendee, on the happy side of age 40, sought my attention: “Just what is wrong with the word ‘among’?” she asked. “You said it’s a weakener. Everybody uses that word.”

She was right, so far as her comment covered the issue. Everybody does use the word ‘among’. But everybody isn’t a direct response copywriter.
I asked her: “Do your notes from this session include the Five Great Motivators?”

She looked. “Yes. Fear, exclusivity . . .”

“Stop.” She stopped in mid-listing. “Now, which seems to add greater exclusivity to any offer – ‘You’ll be among the first to enjoy this’ or ‘You’ll be one of the first to enjoy this’?”

A short pause. Then: “Oh, I get it. ‘Among’ means I’m part of a mob. ‘One of’ means I’m part of an exclusive group.”

Yep. She got it.

‘Getting it’ is the stride to powerful copy
What she might have asked is the question a great many copywriters should ask themselves but don’t bother: How big a difference does a single word make?

A copywriter can sail through his or her professional career and earn a good living without ever considering that ‘one of’ adds a fragment of power beyond that of ‘among’.

But just a moment, please. See anything else in the way I reported this?

I said the attendee was on the happy side of age 40. The happy side might be either side, and rapport with those who read what we write depends on clarity more than any other factor. That should be an alert to know our targets.

We aren’t done with this tidbit yet. In addition to considering targeting, we’re considering power. Is 40 stronger or weaker than forty? Sigh – another decision the copywriter makes.

Yes, it’s an awesome responsibility we have, and the complication is that the difference can be infinitesimal. Does making a difference of one-one hundredth of one per cent justify this kind of scrutiny, analysis and studied replacement?

That’s our job. So the answer is the first word of the previous paragraph: Yes.