In my last Leader column, I told how many surprise emails I had received, wishing me a happy birthday. Since then, I am sorry to report I have had an avalanche of emails inviting me to buy a walk-in tub or become a driving instructor. Now you wouldn’t think that the former – a clearly decrepit individual – would be compos mentis enough to manage the latter. 

But, hey lookee! I don’t need the extra work now, as I have won the Spanish International Lottery! Also, and strictly entre nous, I have just discovered I am related to a chap called Steve Moore who has died in a plane crash with his entire family and left me $27million. How great! 

So now I can buy all those gleaming teeth whitening products, currently on emailed special offer, to enhance my erstwhile horsey grin . . .   

Hmm . . . All the above is my own fault for entering a competition and obviously getting onto a dud list. I should have known better. But I did so want to win that 12-month horoscope from the pet psychic.

Just recently, I have been getting messages via Skype, too, mostly offering software at knock-down prices. Not a huge amount of messages, but will a trickle become a flood, like spam emails (page 22), and thus spoil another technological advancement?

I am cross enough to splutter: “Who sends all this rubbish?” But, it’s too easy to just blame the senders for trying to earn a crust by fair means or (sadly) foul. The trouble is, real people actually respond – yes, some fools buy this stuff! Thus qualifying the campaign and compounding the problem. 

The only solution I can see is that those buyers (particularly if they are multi-buyers) are put onto a database which is wholly separated from the rest of society and, perhaps, owned and honed by a data controller called mugsRus. The data could be mined into lists titled, Will Buy Anything, Unbelievable Idiots and Still Seem To Have More Money Than Sense, Despite the Crisis Which Has Hit Everyone Else.

I read that Millennials (page 4), recovering from the sharp knocks of this Great Recession, are emulating the pre-war generation’s survival tactics learned during their Great Depression; namely, being more circumspect about purchases and how to pay for them. Not for them the cash-splash lifestyle of recent years, which was largely the heyday (and fault) of Boomers and Generation Xers. Twenty-somethings are switching on to social media to help them make more informed choices (page 30). Good. This means trotting out shoddy goods and providing a rubbish service for them will not pay off. Providers really must do their homework (page 24) if they are to win over a more discerning buyer.   

I must sign off now: I have a lot of ‘unsubscribe’ buttons to click.