Hershell Gordon Lewis adds copy class to the back page of the new newspaper: DMI News Extra.

May I superimpose what I hope is a redundant supposition onto any preconceived notions or prejudices you may harbour?

That supposition: Copywriters are wordsmiths.

I hope you agree that’s redundant. After all, what are we other than glorifiers? What we glorify may or may not be glorious. Creation of what we’re selling isn’t our function; creation of glory is our function.

Please be puzzled that so many of our competitors, who get paid to sell, do nothing but describe in mundane, humdrum, or even negative wording. Oh, yes, seeing that even the unfit survive may give us some confidence about our own professionalism. But awareness means constant inspection of nouns, adjectives, verbs, and the hidden dynamite adverbs, for maximised glorification.

Hair removal for sale

Here’s an email, heavily produced. The heading: ‘Win valuable laser hair removal.’ The subhead: ‘Click here to learn more.’ Then, to complete the trifecta: ‘Try it, You’ll love it. Click today!’

How would you have worded that? If you say, ‘I couldn’t have improved on that,’ you may be reading the wrong publication, because DMI aims its circulation at professionals. 

If, on the other hand, the very notion of ‘laser hair removal’ makes you itchy, you’re one of us.

‘Click here to learn more’ uses a turnoff word – ‘learn’. We are, after all, glorifiers, and ‘learn’ suggests the nastiest word in our lexicon: ‘work’. 

Then, ‘Try it, You’ll love it. Click today!’ combines a grammatical question with a tired cliché.

In a few words, whoever generated that email convinces us that he or she isn’t someone we’d hire.

Pulling the trigger

There’s some validity to the ancient saw, ‘Less is more.’ Yes, some validity. And we, as glorifiers, should know when validity applies and when it doesn’t.

I’m looking at an email, addressed to me. The message is entirely in lower case, which strikes me as a conceit because by centering on a deliberate offbeat approach it overlooks an opportunity to add some emphasis. The email, in its entirety: 

order_your favorite rxmeds are here!  with quick_reliable shipping! goto -> http://topdogrx.com

I haven’t edited the address, so you’re welcome to visit that site – if only to discover other ways the online pharmacist might have replaced the generalisation with a glorifying kicker. 

Suppose I say to you, ‘I have something you want. If you want to know what it is, go here.’ Is that as dynamic, as powerful, as enticing as, ‘I can deliver a new Klein bicycle to you for less than £100’? (Save your postage to  me or the time you’d use constructing an email. I can’t.)

Maybe I have made a point here and maybe I haven’t. 

If I have, and that applies to my own copy as well as yours, then the two key words until the next issue of this distinguished publication appears are:

Rhetorical vigilance.

Herschell Gordon Lewis is the principal of Lewis Enterprises, Pompano Beach, Florida, through which he is available as copywriter, consultant and speaker. Mr Lewis’ latest book is his 31st. Phone him: +1 954 782 1750, or visit his website.