Herschell Gordon Lewis shares a little copy class.

William of Ockham should have been a direct marketer. Maybe he was. Many of us moonlight openly or surreptitiously in a second pseudo-profession. And, in the 14th century, media choices were sparse enough to assure readership of anything that appeared in what then was considered ‘print’.

We all have been exposed to the maxim known as Occam’s Razor (or Ockham’s Razor): the simplest solution usually is the correct one.

But if old Willie (English logician, theologian and Franciscan friar) was one of us, he overlooked the cornerstone of our house of cards – testing. And here we are, seven centuries later, and too many of us complacently chew on the cud of tradition: “We’ve always done it that way. And why mess with it if it still pulls response?”

If we dealt only in averages, our old friend William of Ockham would be safe in our midst, raking in creative fees for copy that ‘still pulls response’.

We don’t – well, make that shouldn’t – deal in averages. If a message is bringing average response, a tweaking might bring better-than-average response. And that means Occam’s Razor winds up in second place.

The problem with creative principles

I just read an online declaration by one of the host of direct response experts who share their expertise. 

It reminds me of what I used to do, shoveling out truisms, speculation and history-masquerading-as-fact. The subject  of this one was the length of email subject lines, and the statement, on analysis, really does defy analysis: ‘Research’ showed that subject lines with fewer than 50 characters had open rates 12.5 per cent higher on average those with 50 or more characters.

So what’s wrong with that?

Suppose I said to you that research shows that the average  life-span of a human being born in the year you were born is 84 years. Does that mean you will live to age 84 and not die earlier or later? 

Nonsense. 

Averages are implicitly generalisations. And an absolute rule that should govern what we do, as creative gurus:

Specifics outpull generalisations. 

Again: 

Specifics outpull generalisations.

Nothing to say, but don’t quote me

Folklore has early 20th century US President Calvin Coolidge answering a penetrating question with: “I have nothing to say, but don’t quote me.”

That’s what so many creative tips seem to transmit, as this week’s fresh host of experts arises from the mists. The information is like water, running through our mind-fingers without disturbing what was there before.

Here’s a candidate: ‘Keep an eye on the abandonment rate of your sign-up form.’

Well, yeah.

‘Every field of a form contributes to abandonment.’

Well, yeah.

‘Every step matters.’

Aw, come on. That’s enough ‘Yeah’ for the day. 

We’re wallowing in the kind of semi-professional advice that might have impressed newcomers to our craft when email itself was in its infancy. Today, it parallels feeding baby food to a Sumo wrestler. (Come to think of it, though, that’s not a bad idea.)

So you won’t have wasted the total amount of time you graciously employed to read this diatribe, here’s a recent experience: In two tests, one for flowers and one for insurance, the longer subject line outpulled the shorter subject line.

And what does that signify? 

That old Willie Ockham was doling out average advice.

Herschell Gordon Lewis is the principal of Lewis Enterprises, Pompano Beach, Florida, through which he is available as copywriter, consultant and speaker. Mr Lewis’ latest book is his 32nd. Phone him: +1 954 782 1750, or visit his website: www.herschellgordonlewis.com